What’s A Relationship Without Trust?
Have you seen the latest cringe inducing interviews with Tiger Woods? I heard an interview with a psychologist this morning which followed yet another apology from Tiger. To my dismay both the interviewer and the psychologist felt that Tiger was not truly sorry. The gist of the exchange seemed to be, that Tiger is a role model and therefore, expected to exhibit the highest decorum.
Whilst I’m not gullible enough to believe that Tiger was apologising for the good of anyone, other than perhaps his family and sponsors; I have a problem with the media demanding that he do. Everyone, including Tiger is entitled to a private life and as far as I’m concerned, only the people, who were actually harmed by his actions, are entitled to an apology.
Anyway, don’t you think that Trust is a funny thing. Do we ever get it right. Some people believe that you should trust no one. The rest of us are normally somewhere in between. When we meet someone new we firstly apply discretion and try not to give away too much. Then we apply the common sense approach and look for signs or incongruence, which might alert us and give us a reason not to trust. Finally we revert to type. The trusting still trusts, some indiscriminately. The doubtful still doubt and the sceptical well, you know what I mean.
We all fear rejection and betrayal after all, most of us have experienced it at one time or another. No one wants to go through that pain again so, we are determined (as far as possible), not to fall for the wrong person again.
So, how do I know who to trust (I hear you say). The simple answer is that you don’t. Just like with everything else in life, you have a choice. You can choose to trust and your heart may be broken once more. On the other hand, you may have found the love of your life and go on to live the dream.
What if you decide not to take the risk of being hurt again? Well you could of course, go on to be a very happy and successful single. However, for most of us, sooner or later, we crave that special connection. That person who makes our heart skip a beat, that special some one, our soul mate (all right I know that I am going to far now). You get the picture though.
So, how do you navigate the journey from single, to blissful couple? Well the answer is that you draw up a plan. First you work out who you really are. Then you work out what characteristics your partner would need to have to make you happy and which characteristics you just couldn’t live with. Finally, you need an action plan showing where your ideal mate is likely to hang out and how you are going to meet them. If you are in a hurry to find “the one” then you might want to enlist the services of a good relationship coach.
© Theresa Sives 2010
Hasn’t the whole Tiger Woods thing been a huge embarassment for everyone? It’s been a terrific distraction from all those real news stories that haven’t been covered. If I were Tiger, I wouldn’t have apologized. It’s his personal life. And I think he tried to take that angle at the start of the mess. I mean, how much money is enough? Doesn’t he have enough already. And then the whole sex addiction thing. Really? It seems very disingenuous.
Your points about trust are very wise. I have found it to be just a small process. Just drip drip drip in the cup of the heart, until it runs over and you know you can trust the other. Simple. Talk about what should have happened with your partner, and you can re-establish trust.
Hi Jen
Thank you for your feedback!
I have always felt quite sorry for child stars, whether they are Michael Jackson or Tiger Woods. I am not saying that this was the case with either of them however; I always feel that there is the opportunity for the adults in their life, to abuse their talent; and live their lives through them.
Therefore, when in later life, they “lose the plot”, I am never really surprised.
Nice to hear from you!
Best, Theresa
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