Is Your Relationship Really Over?
There is an E book called Acres of Diamonds which was written by Russell H Conwell. The story tells of a wealthy and contented farmer who tends his land for many years. One day he receives a visitor who tells him all about the riches of copper, silver, gold & diamonds buried in the crusts of the mountains.
The farmer becomes increasingly disenchanted with his lot. Eventually the farmer sells his farm, leaves his family and sets of in search of the diamond mine of his dreams. Years later the desperate weary farmer, dies alone and penniless in a foreign land.
Meanwhile the man, who purchased his farm, discovers diamonds in a stream which runs through the farm. On further inspection it transpires that the farm was built upon Acres of Diamonds. The moral of the story is that when looking for treasure, we should begin the search on our own doorstep.
So, why am I telling you this? Well, there is a strange thing in life and in relationships, that when our need for something whether it be love, security, comfort or something else, is being fully met; then we gradually grow dissatisfied. Yes, you heard me right; instead of celebrating our good luck, we grow increasingly dissatisfied. We begin to believe that we have a need for change. We decide that our partner is to boring or to predictable and we need more. We decide that what we really need is someone who is more challenging or more fun, or more intellectual or wealthier.
Whether consciously or not, we then begin to look for this “perfect partner”, this special someone who is going to meet all of our wants and needs. Sooner or later we will meet someone who looks as though they may fit the bill. We then transfer all of our hopes and dreams for the future, (onto this person that we know nothing about). Even worse, this person may also be looking for “the love of their life” and they may transfer all of their hopes and dreams onto you.
This state of bliss could last for days, weeks or even months however, sooner or later, at least one of the parties, will look at the other and think “who are you”. At that moment the spell will be broken and the state of mutual delusion, brought to a crashing ending.
The parties then have to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts, whilst also dealing with the pain and hurt that they have caused to their ex partners, their children and their families. Frequently, people tell me that their children never forgive them for the break up of the family. Sometimes people spend the rest of their lives trying to win back the partner that they carelessly discarded in their search for “something better”.
Am I saying here that relationships should never end – no I am not. Am I saying that you are better to settle for what you have, than to strive for something better – no I am not. What I am saying is this. Before you decide that your relationship is over, you need to be certain that it really is, or you too may find out the hard way, that what you always wanted, was right under your nose; all the time.
And so, if there is a moral to this story then it’s this – All that glitters isn’t gold.
© Theresa Sives 2012
Please leave your thoughts below!
Hi Theresa
How very, very true and how many people fall, or come close to falling for it? Some on numerous occasions.
The grass may seem greener on the other side but it still needs to be tended.
I have heard of the ‘Acres Of Diamonds’ but never read it. It also applies to internet marketing i.e. people giving up on a particular route when success may be just one step away.
Bill
Hi Bill
It’s always nice to hear from you!
Your right of course, people do think that it’s going to be easier and more fun to begin a new relationship, than it would be, to take the time and trouble to “fix” the one that they already have.
Having said that, not all relationships are fixable, some have just run their course and this should be acknowledged. There is no shame in a relationship ending; however, sometimes the way that we deal with the ending, is shameful.
Oh, and you are right again, many people do give up on their hopes and dreams when success is all but secured.
Best, Theresa
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A very common reason that husbands seem to show more love to their wives because the woman moved her attention to her children.
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Hi Theresa,
How very true. People seem to readily give up over the slightest challenges in their lives, which in turn has created a “thow away society”. Evaluting carefully whatever it is you already have and working at it, before you decide whether to move on, is the only way to be sure of securing any success in life.
Kindest
Joanne
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