Does Your Relationship Need The Paramedics!
I speak to people all the time who tell me that they worked 60 plus hours each week, they are now dependant on drugs or alcohol (as a coping mechanism), and the only thing that they are sure about, is that their relationship is fine.Of course the relationship is NOT fine, how can you have a meaningful relationship or a life come to that, when you are working 60 plus hours each week. The truth is, we can only focus on one thing at a time, if our focus is all on our job, then our relationship suffers; and vice versa. This is why we struggle so, with things like work life balance. We simply refuse to face the truth, even when it’s staring us square in the face. We won’t admit it, even to ourselves, but deep in our unconscious, we know how desperate and empty we feel. We also know that if we did admit to it, then we would be duty bound to do something about the situation, so, we don’t. We paint on a smile and try to make the best of the situation. We continue to live a lie, just like our friends and neighbours do. But here’s the good news, (I bet that you were beginning to wonder when that would turn up). Well the good news is this – it doesn’t have to be like that. I’ll say it again for the skeptics amongst you – it doesn’t have to be like that. Well, I hear you say, tell me more.
What You need is the Relationship Paramedics test and here it is:
Are you happy?
Do you do things together?
Do you have shared interests?
Do you laugh together?
Do you challenge each other?
Do you plan together?
Are you looking forward to the future together?
Are you still attracted to each other?
Do you want to spend time together?
Do you like each other?
If you can honestly answer YES to all of the above, then you should be writing this post. Most of us struggle with our relationships which often have more in common with a minefield, than the wedded bliss, that we thought we had signed up for. If you can say YES to at least some of the above, then you have a relationship worth saving. Here’s how you are going to save it:
Talk to each other - that means that one person talks, say for around fifteen minutes and the other one LISTENS, doesn’t start constructing a defense for when they have their turn. No, they truly listen and try to empathise with their partner. When their partner is finished or after fifteen minutes, then they change places.
Tell the truth - now when I say tell the truth I don’t mean to imply that anyone may be deliberately lying (although you never know). What I mean is tell the truth as you see it. Don’t tell your partner what you think that they want to hear, in an effort to limit the damage. Don’t try to second guess what your partner might say or think, as a consequence of your disclosure. Just tell the honest truth, as you see it. I’m sure that this will be a complete revelation to some people but how can you possibly have a genuine and loving relationship with anyone, when you cannot, or will not, disclose who you really are and what you really think. Relationships can be difficult enough when two people are open and honest with one another; they have much less chance of succeeding, when they are not.
So, communication is the key – you knew that. Use it well and hopefully your relationship will never need the paramedics!
© Theresa Sives 2010
Brilliant advice, Theresa. I love your list of ‘health check’ questions. Really makes you think about it…
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Hi Theresa,
Perhaps you could combine a budding political career with marriage guidance, you are obviously wasting your talents in your present occupation – or is this your line of work already?
I can see an excellent ebook on relationships coming from you, plus it is a very profitable and popular niche.
Regards,
Bill
Hi Theresa, you are so right. True communication is key, without it NOTHING can be accomplished. Terry Conti
Hi Mandy
Thank you for your comments; I’m glad that you enjoyed the post.
Best, Theresa
Hi Bill
Thank you for your kind comments, it’s always nice to hear from you and I’m glad that you enjoyed the post.
Best, Theresa
Hi Terry
Yes, communication is key, if only we were always aware of the way that we communicate with one another, then there would be less misunderstandings and bitterness in the world.
I think that one of the best quotes that I have ever heard about communications is that “communication is what you get back”. When our relationships break down, then we really do need to take a closer look at the way that we have been communicating.
Best, Theresa
hey whats your myspace page.
Hi
Sorry, I don’t have a myspace page so, we will just have to keep meeting here.
Best, Theresa
I have spent a bit of time going through your posts, more than I should have but I must say, its worth it!
Awesome, that’s precisely what I was looking for! You just spared me alot of looking around
Thanks for the tips, I’ll be back again and will send out some of my buddies.
Just wanted to comment and say that I really like your blog layout and the way you write too. It’s very refreshing to see a blogger like you.. keep it up
Easy yet the ideas are presented in a wonderful way. I just like the way you write this blog post!
I like reading blog posts, and when I stumbled upon to this blog, it just blew me away! Hey there I mean it! Your contents are rich and I discover them really useful! I wish I could post like you do but I do not have very good english.
In my opinion, you could write this up in a passive way, then it might be better for reading. Just my 2 cents.
good write-up by the way!
Don´t consider every short comment as spam, its not – but here my two cents. I like this site and it has presented me some sort of commitment to succeed for some reason, so thank you. Moreover, I´m definitely considering mentioning these facts in my own blog!
Hey, have been looking for opinions of people who have tried this out first hand, and I stumbled upon your write up. It’s a lovely blog, to bad I took this long getting to read your article. Saved you in my bookmarks already. Shall come back pretty soon. Keep on writing your blog will get really popular.
LOL I agree
hey buddy, this is one of the best posts that I’ve ever seen
Great communication I recently hit on your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my opening comment. I don’t know what to expect but I have enjoyed reading your detailed blog. I will keep visiting this blog.
Thanks for that, incredibly interesting post.
A thoughtful insight into Does Your Relationship Need The Paramedics! I will employ these ideas on my blog. You’ve obviously spent some time on this.
Well done!
gonna send this to my mom!
My dad will like this!
Bookmarked – will return in next week to check rest posts.
Very insightful post, will have to tell my friends to come visit and reap this gem of knowledge. Amazing contribution
Your Website is very useful. Thank you so much for giving plenty of awesome information. I have bookmark your blog site and will be without doubt coming back. Once again, I appreciate all your work and also providing a lot vital concepts for your readers.
yea nice Work!
Wonderful blog! I actually love how it’s easy on my eyes and the facts are well written. I am wondering how I could be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your rss feed which ought to do the trick! Have a nice day!
This fantatic post was very nicely written, and it also contains many good facts. I appreciated your professional way of writing the post. You have made it easy for me to understand. Good and precise info.
interesting post, pretty much covered it all for me, thanks.
Good blog! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the information is well written. I am wondering how I can be notified whenever a new post has been made?
I recently encounter your blog and have been reading along. Nice blog, I will keep visiting.
I love the way you write and also the theme on your blog. Did you code this yourself or was it done by a professional? I’m very very impressed.
I loved what you’ve done here. The format is sophisticated, your composed content stylish. You have acquired an edginess to youre writing. Ill certainly come back again and again. Excellent on you!
cool!
Good thorough ideas here.
This blog is amazing, keep on doing this good job.
Good Blogpost. Would you mind if I use tiny snippets of your article and needless to say, link it to your blogposts??
YES! I finally found this site! I’ve been seeking just for this article for such a long time!!
Love the blog here. Nice colors. I am definitely staying tuned to this one. Hope to see more.
This information really helped me, I am sharing with a few friends.
Hey admin, I have a small request. I had been simply just googleing for details on the topic you wrote and located this post. Some really nice stuff you posted right here. Can I if possible talk about this post on my new web site I am creating? It would be great
. I am going to return again later on to find out how you replied. Bless you!
Thanks for sharing information through the article on this blog. I think that this blog is nice and I have already indexed it. good luck to succeed!
Hi , thanks for the posting – it’s great.
Hi, I just randomly found your article. Thanks
thanks for help! I will try.
hi – nice posting!
Very nice post.
Warm regards for a useful article. I am most certainly a violator of lots of these principles.
I commonly discover conflict when producing a weblog article because I write more than men and women would like to go through, but I feel that I need to do the subject matter justice by totally covering it. I guess you’ve got to have a balance.
Excellent blog.
Very interesting point that you make.
Beneficial info and excellent design you got here! I want to thank you for sharing your ideas and putting the time into the stuff you publish! Great work!
Thank you
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
Wow, it always makes me think, why do such good writers always have such an ugly blog theme. It’s always like that
and dude, why aren’t you making money with your blog?
I’m a blogger myself and I only wish I was able to produce such quality content as you do. Seriously, start putting a little advertisements on your blog, your readers will love it! Mine did…
K bye, I wish you luck with your blog
Just killing some in between class time and I found your entry. Not normally what I like to learn about, but it was definitely worth my time. Thanks.
Howdy. I am very happy I found this web page, I genuinely discovered you by mistake, whilst I’d been searching Yahoo for another thing, Anyway I am here now and would just like to with thanks for the great blog posting as well as a all round interesting web site (I additionally like the theme/design). I have saved it and also subscribed to the RSS feeds.
Thanks for your time in advance for your speedy response! Pretty nice posting.
Hello,guys,your blog is really great! I like it.
Hey i am not going to be original this time, so all i am going to say that your site is cool, sad that I don’t have such writing talent. Thanks
Neat blog layout! Very easy on the eyes.. i like the colors you picked out
Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thoughts about this, I am in fact fan of your blog…
Howdy, I recently hopped over to your current website as a result of Stumbleupon. Not really anything I would generally browse, but I enjoyed your views none the less. Thanks for generating some thing worth reading.
hey, nice weblog and good publish, simply a recommendation, make it private, it is all the more interesting!
Do you mind if I quote you on my blog if I link back to your website?
What a terrific site and informative posts, I will add backlink – bookmark this site? Regards
This is really a great blog post with thanks for sharing this academic information. I will go to your internet site frequently for your newest post.
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
I like your post and I’ll surely be back soon!
That is awesome, thanks for the intersting and useful information.
Have a good day!. I feel like I’m always looking for interesting things to read about a variety of niches, but I manage to include your blog among my reads every day because you have honest entries that I look forward to. Here’s hoping there’s a lot more great material coming!
Awsome post and to the point. Thanks
I have been surfing online for more than 3 hrs today but I never came across any interesting write-ups like yours. If all webmasters and bloggers produced great content like you do, then the internet would be much more helpful.
Greetings everyone, This webpage is excellent and so is how the matter was expanded. I like some of the comments as well although I would prefer we all keep it on topic in order add value to the subject.
Hello! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to give it a look. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog and outstanding design.
Wow. This site is amazing! How did you make it look like this ?
Good Stuff, do you currently have a facebook account?
I do not know what to say besides that I have enjoyed reading. Great website. I’ll maintain visiting this internet site exceptionally very often.!|.
. give thanks to you..!.!|.
Your website constantly makes me think, I have just bookmarked it!
This website has got lots of extremely useful info on it! Cheers for helping me.
I’d come to play ball with you here, which is not something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!
very valuable material, all in all I imagine this is worthy of a bookmark, thanks
Nice point of view, I most often meet people who say what they suppose others want to hear. Good and well written! I will come back to your site for sure!
A loyal fan is born, well at least that is what i feel like, after reading your post.
Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author. I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back in the future. I want to encourage that you continue your great writing, have a nice evening!
Real instructive and good structure of written content, now that’s user friendly (:.
I think you have noted some very interesting points, thanks for the post.