A Tribute to Muriel!
It has taken me a whole year to be able to write this post. Last year on the 27th July 2009 my sister died of breast cancer, only 3 weeks after her 49th Birthday. It was a real shock to us all, as she had only been diagnosed some 14 months before. Muriel and I were incredibly close and she was without doubt, the happiest and kindest person that I have ever had the privilege to know. Not for one second did I believe that this dreadful disease could take her life, after all she was the funniest and most positive person that you could ever hope to meet.
Right up until the last few days she was laughing and making jokes. Once when one of the McMillan nurses asked her how she was, she replied that she was feeling awful. She went on to add that this was because once again, her Lottery numbers had failed to come up.
Her death left me devastated and as a family we have struggled through the last year. It just didn’t make any sense and I just could not accept it. I had always thought of myself as a strong person however, this certainly made me wonder how people cope, particularly parents who lose children to illness. How do people cope with sudden deaths, like terrible accidents or even worse, murder? It seems that the people, who cope best, manage to turn these tragic events into something else, like a campaign to take knives of the streets.
I congratulate the people who struggle and find the courage and strength to do this however; I think that the majority of people don’t cope well at all. If the average person takes a year to begin to come to terms with their loss, then what damage is being done to their health in that year. Personally, I know that my health, relationships and career have all suffered.
This senseless death rocked my core belief system and brought into question, all that I believed to be true. For me, it took an unplanned journey back to the hospital that my sister had died in, to bring any sense of peace. Once more, I appreciate how important it is to be happy NOW and not to put our lives and happiness on hold, until some time in the future; when things are just how we would want them to be.
I believe that our purpose is to be happy and to make others happy. Yes, we should always strive to make our lives and the lives of those around us better; however, we have to LEARN how to do that whilst still being happy, now. We only have now, yesterday is where we keep our memories and tomorrow, well who knows. If you and I can succeed in being happy now and making others around us happy, then who could ask for more.
This is a tribute to my beautiful sister Muriel who was the source of many peoples happiness. I would say rest in peace Muriel; however, you were far to much fun for that. It would have been your 50th Birthday today and what a party we would have had. Happy Birthday darling!
© Theresa Sives 2012
Hi
I am glad that you found this post helpful.
It is good that something positive can arise, out of something so tragic.
Best, Theresa
Hi Theresa,
What a sad story about your sister, as you say how people cope with the death of their children is beyond me, I would be devastated.
I had to carry out two ID’s within two weeks in 1989, my father and a close friend who died during a dive we were on, an experience I don’t want to repeat.
Things like this make us realise what is REALLY important and yes we do have to live for today.
Regards,
Bill
Hi Bill
It’s always nice to hear from you and thank you for your kind words.
I suppose that the strange thing about grief is that when we are going through it, we are not even aware of it. It’s not until we are finally beginning to emerge from it, that we look back and wonder, just how we ever coped.
Best, Theresa
Thinking, It’s always the same thing. To think is to go insane.
Hi “T”
There’s nothing wrong with thinking (in fact I would highly recommend it), however, if we constantly think the same sad and unhappy thoughts, then we will become sad and unhappy individuals.
If you are caught up in grief then please speak to someone, a friend, a doctor or a counsellor. It is very painful trying to come to terms with the death of a loved one and you should actively seek and accept all the support that you can get.
Please let me know how you get on!
Best, Theresa
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